Life continues in recovery...

WOW, I dont even remember writing my last blog. Going by its date, im sure i was pretty messed up.
Well, Im getting much better now. Life in recovery. MMM...its awesome. I decided today, and even wrote it down, that im getting some of my sanity back. YAY! Not all days are grand...like yesterday, but i made it through. I still wake up every morning not knowing how to feel, so i put on as happy a face that i can and get out of bed...immediately praying ofcourse. Then, if i can manage to stay out of my own head, i have a pretty good day. Still no work...ugh. Gunna need that to come through pretty soon, and it will.
Im acting like a pretty good Dad...that feels pretty good. Im proud of my kids for being soo strong through this. We're going to make it through.
Pray for me, if thats your thing. I need it because i still feel lost at times.

Stupid Nice Guys....always finishing last!

Here i am yet again. Hurt by this woman in a manner that would kill some. Ever had your heart ripped out of your chest...? Well i have, who cares how many times! How was i ever able to forgive so much? How did i let this woman back in to do this again? I will never know.
I could holler from the pain...I keep it in. Not good. Everyone says they're proud...somehow i feel ok. This is one of those times you would wish for a brother or father to be there for you. Not fortunate enough for that luxury. Im glad i have my mother, my sister and my aunt fran. Jesse even...and the rest of my family. Im fortunate to have a family that really knows what it means to love. I cant wait for the pain to stop so i can enjoy the rest of my life with all these people i prefer to be around. Ill let you know when it subsides...